| Last night went to watch Skelton Key at BMT Hollywood Theatre with my sister, Teresa and her Boifriend and other Friends. It was an alright movie. Messed up ending but it all kewl..Wanted to watch Four Brothers and Dukes of Hazard but I guess thats gonna just have to wait for another date.
Planning on to change my layout again. Can everyone decide fer me..Its gonna be about Billy Crawford. The American/Filipino singer.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/KraziKittie/Anything/sf.jpg
or
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/KraziKittie/Anything/sdfg.jpg
I know its the same..But please..pick ONE or TWO..
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I don't know what to do anymore with this life. Its so dull. High School is somewhat a PUNCH in the STOMACH. There is nothing to look forward and be happy about today..the next day and the next. I rather sleep all day and never wake up. Yeah Depression is coming back to me. And I don't need your sympathy or words of incouragement. Just let me get through this depression on my own. If I don't learn how to get through this by myself and keep relying on everyone around me to help me, then I won't ever go anywhere in my life. I rely on too many pplz to help me get through things. But this time I need to control it by just dealing it by myself. Depression just started with me ever since elementary. Elementary, I was alwayz picked on. Depression started fer me at a young age and so it follows me. I wrote my first suicide note in elementary of 5th grade. I wrote my second one and my parents found it. My dad was heart broken and it made me even more depress to see him cry because I don't see him cry that often. Yes I do still cry at night and I do still cut myself. I admitted that I am still a cutter. Just Please don't think of me differently. I am still Catthuy. Just in a weak state thats all. If you see scars on my arms or face don't ask about it, don't bother giving me sympathy, because it will get me frustrated and I will get mad. I may still smile and joke around but look deeply in my eyes and you would see that I am crying and Dying inside. In School, There was only ONE person that saw it all. And I was HAPPY and thankful to him that he just left it alone. He told me that If I was depressed, I should get through it by myself, Othewise, my depression will just start up again and again. I love all my Friends and thats not a lie. i keep a Smile on my face just to see one on yours. Lizzie-Thx fer being my soul sister and I know your alwayz there fer me. Thuy- Dern Cry when you see me down or crying. Just be happy and you Know i am still that Teddy Bear. You, Too are my soul sister and I am happy that Liz, you and me are still Best friends. To my other best friend and friends. and you know who you are. I know your there..and I love yah. Just know that everyday Imma put a smile on my face..Okies?!
There are lots of things to live for--HaPPiNESS fer one. But what if you can't find any happiness. You feel alone even if yu have soo many GOOD friends. I feel happy at times. and I wished I would've hold on to that but it just wiped away in my hands. I would give pplz advice to not stay depress and it works...but only fer a while. Then they go bak to bein depress again. So now i see it. If you want to get rid of bein depress all the time. Find the main Problem of it all and solve it. But you have to do it on your own. That is how I am dealing with it right now. Some of you may think this is the wrong way to solve depression. But its just how "I" am thinkin. So please dern say anything.
Okies. I wrote so much alreadi. I guess Imma just leave as is. Till next time everyone
[[-cat-]] |
